


Hard Liquor

by Shockcakes



Category: Furry (Fandom), Original Work
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Meeting the Parents, Romance, it goes about as well as you would think, poor theo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 14:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15269355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shockcakes/pseuds/Shockcakes
Summary: At the end of the day, Faye never did figure out who ratted her new boyfriend out to her mother.





	Hard Liquor

**Author's Note:**

> Yay more original works.

There was enough tension in the air that one could almost cut it with a knife.

Faye mentally cursed herself. She hadn’t given herself enough time to prepare for this moment. That much she came to terms with as she quietly sat at the dining table, watching helplessly as her current boyfriend of hardly a few weeks was faced with the height of apex predators. A beast in virtually every sense of the word, glaring down at the poor rabbit with the subtle ferocity of a predator stalking its prey:

Her mother, Hortense Dulciana.

To this very moment, Faye hadn’t the slightest idea how the news of her and Theo’s newly founded relationship had traveled so fast. Those cursed words were etched into her brain: “Perhaps you could introduce me to this Theo character”. It was said with no sort of figurative tone whatsoever. Hortense wanted to see him and _now._ Her heart skipped enough beats that she wasn’t entirely sure it was still beating.

Theo had been all too eager to meet the woman. Oh, how naïve he was. Faye watched in horror as her mother’s greeting came in the form of a piercing gaze that all but shattered the remnants of the bunny’s eager curiosity into anxiety fueled terror.

Hortense was much larger than her daughter in terms of height. She was much more slender and serpentine than her daughter and her horns were much larger and…demonic looking. Her onyx scales held a darker shade, imposing her presence among the lighter yellow and bronze shades of the restaurant. Even her scarlet dress was striking amid the vibrant gold colors.

Her stone cold expression bore through Theo like a firehose through a sheet of paper. Faye was almost certain that the waiters were avoiding their table on purpose. Not like she could really blame them. All Hortense was doing for the past ten minutes was scrutinizing the poor rabbit, as though he was about to be the main course should he do so much as blink.

“So…” The dragon’s voice was sharp and to the point. “Chasing after mammals this time, Faye?”

“M-Mother!” Faye tried to sound chastising but it merely came out as a feeble whine.

Not once did she take her eyes off of Theo, meagerly and just barely managing a skittish smile. Hortense did not look impressed. “Well? Aren’t you going to introduce yourself?”

Theo finally managed to feel his heart pounding in his chest. “O-oh! Right! Right!” He cleared his throat, hoping to keep his voice from cracking any more than it just did. His suit felt stuffy and strangling. “My name is Thaddeus- _ThEodORE_! It’s-it’s Theodore Miss-ah Ma’am!” His ears flopped as he was overwhelmed by just how tiny he felt.

Oh boy.

Faye winced. She felt that one more than he did.

The alpha predator furrowed her brow, resting her muzzle on her intertwined fingers, still sizing up her prey. “Well then, _Thaddeus_.” Another wince, this time from the both of them. Neither party was going to forget that little slip. “Might I ask how you met my daughter?” Hortense’s gaze shifted to Faye who shrank from her foreboding glare. “I would have guessed that Faye would be withered and decrepit before leaving her precious books.”

“We uhh…met at a party, actually!”

“A party?” She asked with a somewhat surprised tone. “I didn’t think a rabbit could be someone of the upper class.”

“W-Well ahh…I was actually…” Theo was starting to lose his nerve as he ran through the possible responses to his next sentence in his mind. All of them ended in tragedy. “I was…one of the waiters…”

Hortense scoffed, leaning back in her seat with an unnerving smirk. “I see. So did the deed happen, hm? Did you consequently recite a line from one of her little romance novels?”

“Well n-no, you see,” Theo stammered.

“Did you miraculously bump into her as she was trying to leave?”

Faye internally groaned. Was she planning on embarrassing her for the entire night?

“Or perhaps,” Her reptilian eyes gave a side glance over at Faye who was just short from banging her head on the table, “Were you stuck with her after she drank herself stupid?”

Faye’s eyes widened. Suddenly she had trouble swallowing the lump in her throat. She made a quick glance at Theo who had just as much difficulty responding as she did. Their struggle suggested the obvious answer, yet Hortense patiently awaited the confession, as though she would gain some sick satisfaction out of it. With the chips down, Faye prepared to fold, not wanting her boyfriend to take this heat on his own.

Fortune smiled on her that night.

“Are you prepared to order?”

The table glanced over the clearly nervous fox who had appeared to draw the short straw among the rest of the waiters. Faye had never been so happy to see a waiter since the day she met Theo.

“Yes!” Faye called out a bit too loudly. “The Caesar salad, please!”

“T-Tomato basil tortellini broth, please.” Theo recited perfectly after running the words through his head more times than he could count.

The mammal waiter did his best not to make eye contact with the remaining patron. “Gin. Please.” Hortense hardly bothered shooting a glance at the meek fox.

“R-Right away!”

Faye could tell he couldn’t wait to walk away. Not that she’d blame him.

 _The guy doesn’t know how lucky he is_.

\--

Not even the sounds of utensils tapping porcelain could quell the uncomfortable silence at the table.

It was like the most stressful game of chess. All responses had to be considered with the utmost care and preparation. With every misspeak or slip of the tongue, Hortense’s judgments grew.

“You say you are a waiter, hm?” The dragon’s sharp tongue once again spewed its venom.

Theo swallowed a spoonful of soup, ensuring that there were no chances of him choking. “Not just waiting actually! I do a lot of odd jobs on the side!” He was all too excited to bring that up.

“Odd jobs…” She replied in a disinterested tone, as though now was her first time hearing the term and she couldn’t bring herself to care for it.

“Yes! Catering, bartending, you name it!” Theo tried to chuckle jovially but ended up awkwardly clearing his throat for the umpteenth time instead.

“…Interesting.” Hortense took a sip of her wine. Her focus alternated between the couple. She set aside her now empty glass of wine. “Well, I suppose that’s all I needed to hear for tonight.”

Faye blinked stupidly. “Err…Mother?”

“My eldest daughter, inheritor of her father’s fortune, gotten herself drunk and latched on to a working-class prey mammal in her splendor.” She called for their waiter to refill her glass. The fox quickly responded, only to have the bottle snatched from his palms without a second thought. He attempted an interjection but Hortense’s man-eating glare immediately reassured him how much he would’ve regretted it. “That’s quite enough that I have the ability to care about regarding this matter.”

Faye and Theo exchanged looks. She was just as speechless as he was.

“Mother, I…I don’t understand.”

Hortense sighed in impatience. “For someone so bookish, you have a surprisingly hard time grasping the simplest of answers, Faye.” The larger dragon took another swig of her wine. “Your personal life and what you do with your time is of little concern to me. If you wish to spend your time encouraging whatever fetish those novels have you hooked on, then so be it. I was merely curious to see what manner of romance novel cliché could capture _your_ eye of all things.”

Faye didn’t take too kindly to her relationship being dubbed as a “fetish” but she didn’t quite have the willpower to talk back to her mother, especially now that the longest dinner she’d ever suffered through was now seemingly drawing to a close. Theo remained quiet and awkward, unable to tell if he was supposed to say something right about now.

“I must admit, however, you’ve surprised me, Theodore.”

Theo’s ears perked up in response, surprised to hear his name being called properly after that slip-up moments prior. Not once did he think he’d be able to receive an approval from her throughout this entire night. Lord, was he ecstatic to be proven wrong. “I have?”

Hortense nodded, cooly leaning back in her chair and looking towards Faye. “I’m so used to whatever weak-kneed fling or floozy that your sister brings home. This is the first one that actually managed to keep in their seat before the main course.” She gave a congratulatory clap that unsurprisingly felt disingenuine. “Impressive work. Especially for you, Faye.”

She was far from convinced that was a compliment but at this point, she’d take anything she could get.

\--

The slog through Faye’s apartment was more exhausting this time around.

Faye plopped face first atop her couch, flicking off her high heels with a drained groan. Theo followed suite on the spot next to her. For the next few minutes, the world was in peaceful silence, free of the stresses and anxieties that plagued the couple moments prior.

“…I still feel her judging me.” Said Faye’s muffled voice.

Theo lifted his head and turned to his girlfriend. “Is she…always like that?” He spoke before his brain could filter himself. He didn’t want to seem rude, talking about someone’s mother. Even after _that_.

“Mhmm.” She finally felt the need to raise her head. “On a good day if you can believe it.”

Theo chuckled. “Oh man. Well hey, we got through it didn’t we?”

“Mmm.”

“And with some semblance of approval right?”

“Define _approval_.”

The rabbit smiled warmly before entwining his fingers with her’s. “Well…she knows that this – _we’re_ a thing that’s happening. That was the whole point wasn’t it?”

Faye paused for a moment before answering. She had to admit that she wasn’t exactly expecting her mother to be over the top ecstatic about her love life. In truth, this possibly did turn out to be the best case scenario. “Yes…I suppose it was.” A slight grin reached Faye’s muzzle as well.

“That’s the spirit.” Content, he lied on his back. “So what’s next?”

“Oh,” Theo had barely enough time to react before Faye was suddenly hovering over him, her dress already falling past her shoulders, “I have a few ideas.”


End file.
